Takut !!!

selamat malam, sayang...

aku lelah sungguh ! aku cuma butuh pelukmu, itu saja.

malam ini aku menangis. aku dicekik oleh ketakutanku sendiri dan aku tau ini bodoh. aku terlalu banyak berspekulasi dan aku mulai mempercayai intuisi. perempuan memang dianugerahi kepekaan intuisi melebihi laki-laki, tapi aku tidak butuh kalau memang rasanya seperti neraka.

sayang, aku hampir mati karna ketakutan. aku seperti tenggelam dalam situasti yang ku ciptakan sendiri. tolong bawa dia pergi. aku benci padanya. terlalu benci.

sayang, tetap baik, tetap mengerti dan yg paling penting tetap disitu. 

to mom and dad :)

hey mom, i'm affraid about getting older. it’s like a nightmare, mommy. why don’t you tell me about this before ? why you always aksed me to growing faster ? life is getting cruel, people is hurting each other and I’m not sure that I can face it. please bring me back to become daddy’s little girl again, mommy 


hey dad, remember when i’m 6 and you asked me about my ambition ? i told you that i want to be a stewardess. you just hug me and said “no baby. the pilot would gonna hurt you” for sure i don’t really understand what exactly you mean ‘till i face the truth now and i really want to go back. daddy, i miss you, i miss my childhood !


Just for you both know, now i found a man. he's almost like you dad. i love him and i want to be with him forever if God really mean it. he's the one who makes me feel safe, the one who can dry my tears and control my feeling. He can hurt me but he's the one who can heal me, again. he's great, dad. really great. you should jealous with him. maybe he's the reason for me to always stay strong and face the life.
and for the last, thank you, mom, dad. i love you both.

and you, thank you for become my strength when i'm not strong enough :)